


for only he can heal me

by worry



Series: fragments [3]
Category: Ava's Demon
Genre: M/M, Morning After, eh kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 07:56:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10301654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worry/pseuds/worry
Summary: "So?" Odin asks.Gil's head rests on his shoulder; the position is beautiful, just taking Odin's essence in, living in it."So... what?""I—I'm curious... how did you... end up as a f—follower?"(Gil tells Odin his backstory.)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [a sinner's paradise.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10279415) by [projectfreelancer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/projectfreelancer/pseuds/projectfreelancer). 



> Inspired by my wonderful bf's fic. This takes place directly after that ends. Love u lux<3

Gil pulls the silk sheets over his body—soft, like Odin's mouth, like the feeling of Odin against him, like every memory and every thought. The sheets soft like shaking Odin's hand, the sheets soft like watching Odin desecrate him. Soft like the denial of Paradise. Soft like the silk bands he tied Odin up with, beautiful and begging. The sheets soft like sorries in his mouth, soft like every fantasy coming true. There's softness even in the rough places, and Odin's body, next to his, is softer.

 

He watches Odin breathe, in-out, watches his chest rise and fall. Odin is beautiful like Titan, holds everything holy underneath his skin, stitched into muscle and bone and flesh. Odin denounces Titan, lets the word fall from his mouth (his beautiful, soft mouth) so casually, but Odin is the holiest thing Gil knows, Odin could make the universe unravel. Odin as the universe between Gil's fingers. Odin as Titan. Odin as something higher, something mightier, something holier. As Gil worships Titan, prays, his mind only fixates back on Odin Arrow, blending into Titan in his mind. They are one, now, holy mixture of bodies. Odin being Titan. Titan next to Gil in Gil's bed. Maybe the true Titan is forgiving, maybe he will forgive, if Gil just works harder, becomes mechanical in his worship.

 

"So?" Odin asks.

 

Gil's head rests on his shoulder; the position is beautiful, just taking Odin's essence in, living in it.

 

"So... what?"

 

"I—I'm curious... how did you... end up as a f—follower?" he says— _hesitantly_ , Gil knows, as if Gil will lose control again.

 

"It's quite a long story," Gil tells him. If Odin finds out about his past, his true past—

 

he will run. Gil will lose himself, throw himself down on the floor to finally, for the first time, _pray selfishly._

 

"I'm not g—going anywhere."

 

Gil sighs. More than anything he trusts Odin. Giving him this information, however, would mean the ultimate trust, the vulnerable kind of trust — you don't give this kind of trust to heathens, but Odin is so much more than a heathen, so b e a u t i f u l.

 

He doesn't trust that Odin will stay. Sharing this would mean intimacy, a different intimacy than sex. Emotional, raw, _b e a u t i f u l_ intimacy.

 

"I died when I was four," he says, like reciting a prayer. "In a boiling sea."

 

"I'm s—sorry," Odin says, hesitant yet again.

 

"Yes, well... the followers found me. They brought me back to life... it was almost as if I had been reborn. They were so kind, and when they tought me about Titan, I listened. I thought that only a higher being could be responisble for my —rebirth. So I dedicated myself to Titan. I wanted to help others like the followers helped me."

 

"Wh—what did they tell you, exactly?"

 

Gil squeezes his eyes shut. "They told me that I owed my life not to them, but to Titan, because he made the technology that saved me possible. They spoke of this place called Paradise, said that I would end up there if I worked hard."

 

Odin scoffs.

 

"I know you don't believe in Paradise," Gil says, eyes still closed, hand on Odin's ribs, "but I'm going to end up there. I _have_ to. It's my destiny."

 

"I d—don't think that's your d—d— _destiny_ ," Odin says, soft like silk sheets.

 

"I'm sorry?'

 

"I th-think... this... is your destiny. Not T-Titan, not Paradise... _us_ ," Odin says, and Gil knows he doesn't mean it, Gil knows that these are just flower-words, Gil knows that Odin doesn't view him like _that_. Odin has made it very clear that they are only a small speck in each other's worlds. This is only a distraction, a temptation built to try and cut Gil out of his faith. But: it sounds so nice, coming out of his mouth, and for one small, _small_ moment, Gil believes it.

 

He opens his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading , please tell me what you think!<3:)


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